OLD SHADES

 
You know how when you lose something and find it, it’s a great high. It’s almost worth losing the object just for the thrill of finding it.

I recently found my lost prescription sunglasses and had the opposite reaction: I felt stupid, stunned and dejected. I had lost my sunglasses on a bus in Ireland in July. I immediately wrote the bus company that my sunglasses had been in my backpack in the bus’ overhead bin.

No luck. The Irish wrote back . . .

In Cleveland I dug up my recent Cleveland Clinic eyeglass prescription (from an annual opthamologist appointment) and went to my neighborhood eyeglass store to get new shades. I could have gone to Walmart, like my wife does, but I prefer my neighborhood optical store, which is expensive and snooty; however, I like walking there. I got the new shades. I can’t tell you how much they cost because my wife would flip out.

The new shades made me dizzy. The  store owner said,  “Try it for a week. You need to adjust.”

I tried the shades for a week and didn’t adjust! I felt dizzy the whole time. I booked a semi-retired optometrist who occasionally worked out of the cubbyhole space at the back of the eyeglass store. He gave me a refraction and told me my prescription from the vaunted Cleveland Clinic was wrong. The optometrist said, “Check these new glasses out. I’m going to Indiana for a week to visit family, and if they don’t work, let me know.”

The new shades worked.

I flew to Chicago last month to visit my grandkids. My backpack has a compartment just for laptops. I never use that section. When I unpacked my stuff in Chicago, I found my old shades in the never-used compartment. My old sunglasses from Ireland!

Now what? My old shades are useless and prehistoric. I regret finding them. I’m pissed I endured a week of dizziness because the Cleveland Clinic botched my prescription, and I had lot of extra costs, like for the semi-retired man’s refraction.

I have my “Irish” shades. I wish I didn’t.

Old shades