AN “OLD FRIEND” CALLED

 
Sam — an old friend, or more accurately an old “ex-friend” — called  me on Yom Kippur in September. He said, “I need $115 for one more night in this hotel. I don’t know who else to call. That’s why I’m reaching out.”

“Where are you?” I said.

“At a Comfort Inn in Pennsylvania.”

“How long have you been there? Months — right? $3000 a month on hotels, at $115 a night. Jeez.”

“Yes, I’m in PA and need some place to stay while I look for an apartment.”

“You’ve been at the hotel, like, six months, right?”

“Six days.”

“You’ve been calling me almost daily for months from hotels. You’re blowing all your money on hotels. What if I give you the $115? When are you going to call me again for more?”

“I’ll call to say thank you.”

“When I gave you money the last time, I said it was tzedakah, and that was that. Yom Kippur — today, I get it. I’ll give you 115 more but I’m not answering any more calls. Where are your relatives in all this? Hit them up, hit them up, and hit them up again.”

“Honest to God, you were not my first call.”

“If I give you the money, you’re going to call me tomorrow and say, ‘I’m desperate.’ And I’ll say, ‘Call the Jewish Family Service. Get the hell out of the hotel.'”

“I did call the Jewish Family Service.”

“They are not going to put an old Jew, like you, out on the street. I don’t think so.”

“Well, so far they certainly haven’t offered anything. I am not here to debate you. I’m just asking.”

“You’re asking after I told you not to ask again. I hope you get your shit together.”

“I do too. Thank you.”

I gave Sam the $115, and he didn’t call again. Until last week. He said, “I need $80 quickly!” (He left that message on my ancient answering machine. I’ve blocked Sam on my cell phone, but my answering machine/landline doesn’t have a block feature.)

I’m forwarding Sam’s next call to you. You deal with it.

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(Sam and I  grew up together but went our separate ways decades ago. “Sam” is a pseudonym.)