Real Music & Real Estate . . .

Yiddishe Cup’s bandleader, Bert Stratton, is Klezmer Guy.
 

He knows about the band biz and – check this out – the real estate biz too. So maybe he’s really Klezmer Landlord.
 

You may not care about the real estate biz. Hey, you may not care about the band biz.  (See you.)
 

This is a blog with a gamy twist. It features tenants with snakes and skunks, and musicians with smoked fish in their pockets.
 

Stratton is an occasional contributor to the New York Times, the Times of Israel, the Cleveland Plain Dealer and City Journal. He won two Hopwood Awards.


 
 

THE WIN-O-GRAD — A QUALITY CLARINET

[If you came here because of the Cleveland Jewish News, to read about the Fed man’s mega-salary, please click  here for the relevant post.  If you’re here for other reasons — like you madly love this blog — simply go to the next line.]

Michael Winograd, 28, is one of the best klezmer clarinetists.  He plays a handcrafted, custom-ordered clarinet from Canada. The axe looks like a howitzer, sounds tres robust and weighs a ton. It should be in Cooperstown next to Babe’s bat.  Winograd‘s clarinet has extra keys to hit extra notes.   For instance, the octave key controls two tone holes — not just one — to get perfect intonation.

Miguel Winograd

Miguel Winograd

I saw Winograd’s instrument in Cleveland across a living room.  I could almost feel its emanations. Yes! A clarinetist and I were about 15 feet from Winograd, and my friend asked what kind of horn Winograd had.  I erroneously guessed it was an Albert system horn, like New Orleans jazz musicians used.

There are only about 15 Win-O-Grads in the world, according to Winograd.  (Stephen Fox Clarinets, Canada, makes the Win-O-Grad.  Fox typically calls the product an “extended-range C clarinet.”)

How does one compete against the Win-O-Grad?

Good question.

stratHere’s how: The Strat. The Strat clarinet. (Similar to a Strad violin, but several thousand dollars cheaper.)  The keys are molybdenum.  The pads are horsehair.  The bore – the inside of the horn – is swimming pool liner.   The axe is titanium and weighs nothing.

The Strat is excellent for jazz, klezmer or classical. The end of the clarinet (the bell) has a touch pad; press “1” and a music stand appears; press “2,” you get a pre-licked reed; press “3,” your choice of Heineken’s or Coors.

The Win-O-Grad is a shtik pipe cleaner compared to The Strat.

—-

[Shtik means “piece.”]

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4 comments

1 win-o-grad { 01.01.11 at 11:07 am }

best part: “excellent for jazz, klezmer or classical”

you are a strange man….

happy new year, see ya round soon i hope!

~mw

2 "Kenny G" { 01.05.11 at 11:08 am }

Bert – You’ve added a FOURTH page, you son of a dog….

3 Ted { 01.05.11 at 11:34 am }

No apostrophe in “Coors.” The guy’s name is Coors, not Coor.

4 Bert { 01.05.11 at 12:34 pm }

To Ted:

Good catch on “Coors.” Thanks. I’ll change “Coor’s” to “Coors” now.

Re: “Kenny G”

It took me about a while to figure out what “fourth page, you son of a dog . . .” meant.

As I recall, “Kenny G” prints out the latest blog posts and reads them on the bus. So “fourth page” means, I believe, this week’s Combo Platter (“Yid Lids” plus “Win-O-Grad”) is a bit heftier than usual.

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