I have this new band, Funklikht, which is so filthy. My lead singer is the shit — a Lebanese kid from Detroit who does it all, including Yiddish hip-hop. He was a shabbes goy in Oak Park. My drummer — also from Detroit — grew up next-door to Aretha in Bloomfield Hills. He’s shit-plus.
My bass player kills it. (He has a following in Norway.)
I found all these players in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I go up there regularly for cheap young talent.
We’re on fire. We play temples and Jewish arts festivals throughout the country, but we aren’t stuck in the J bag.
We have a major presence on iTunes. Our best-selling tunes are “Shvantz Tantz,” “Di Gantse Velt is a Blintz” and “Dreck II.”
We’re in discussion with a major label, but I’m skeptical; the label thinks we’re “too Jewish.” We’re not too Jewish! We’re too filthy!
This one is real . . .
I knew two Larry Davises — both Jewish landlords in Cleveland. There was Larry Davis of Solon and Larry Davis of Cleveland Heights.
Larry Davis of Solon was a Romanian immigrant who developed industrial parks in the far eastern suburbs. He loved Yiddish music and hired Yiddishe Cup for his 75th birthday party. He died shortly after that. (No foul play.)
Larry Davis of the Heights is alive, and owns property in Cleveland Heights. You’ve probably seen him around (if you live in Cleveland). He has a beard, wear shorts a lot, and has a small tattoo on his leg. Larry Heights started with a lunch counter in Lakewood and worked his way up.
I ran into Larry Heights at the grocery store and we kvetched about the real estate biz. Our kids weren’t too crazy about running the properties. Larry said, “I wouldn’t wish it on my daughter.”
I thought to myself, “Here we are, two fairly healthy guys, standing in the vegetable aisle at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday. Objectively speaking, we’ve got it made.”
Maybe I’m the third Larry Davis. Larry Davis Heights II.
Larry Davis, Heights, left / Larry Davis, Solon, right:
(Click on the drawing to make it bigger)
Footnote: “Objectively speaking, you’ve got it made” is a line I regularly steal from writer Mark Schilling.
Yiddishe Cup plays First Night Akron (Ohio), 6 p.m. Dec. 31.