Real Music & Real Estate . . .

Yiddishe Cup’s bandleader, Bert Stratton, is Klezmer Guy.
 

He knows about the band biz and – check this out – the real estate biz, too.
 

You may not care about the real estate biz. Hey, you may not care about the band biz. (See you.)
 

This is a blog with a gamy twist. It features tenants with snakes and skunks, and musicians with smoked fish in their pockets.
 

Stratton has written op-eds for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post.


 
 

ZACK THE WRECKER

Zack put down a security deposit for the apartment, then changed his mind.

He was going back with his wife.  Try some counseling. Not moving in.

The apartment was off the market for a week!  I kept the deposit.  Zack said I was a thief.  I re-read him the application: “If the applicant is approved and makes a deposit –- and then decides not to move into the apartment –- the deposit will be forfeited.  THE DEPOSIT WILL NOT BE RETURNED TO THE APPLICANT.”

Zack said, “See you in small claims court!”  Then he added, “Wait. I’m taking the apartment! We’re going to have a real good relationship.  Tell your building manager, I’ll see him on Sunday with coffee and donuts!”

Zack worked demo and was a hauler. He might rent the apartment just to trash it — to demo it.

Zack didn’t show up Sunday. He called a week later.  He still wanted in.  He said he would be there in two days. I figured there was a 10 percent chance he would show.

What if  he did?

I called Zack back: “I want to part ways.  You go yours, I go mine. I’ll give you your security deposit back.”

“Man, I already have my truck packed!”

“I think there’s a lot of ill-will, and we should part ways.  I’ll mail you the deposit.”

He said he wanted the deposit right now. “Things are all awkward between my girlfriend and me.  I need the money,” he said.

“You can pick up the check from Rachel.  She has bangs and is in her twenties,” I said. Rachel worked at the corner bakery. I didn’t want to tangle with Zack.

A basic rule of landlording: Once you get ’em [troublemakers] in, it’s hard to get ’em out.

Maybe I played it too safe. I’ll never know.

The latest from Jack Stratton and his band Vulfpeck:

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4 comments

1 Ken G. { 08.07.13 at 11:55 am }

So you finished with the wrecker, he picked up the deposit, and that was that? Btw, where is the bakery with Rachel; I try to hit them all. Still there? A decent one?

2 donfriedman { 08.07.13 at 12:24 pm }

Did you say she bangs? And does she sell bagels? My favorite combo!

3 Bert Stratton { 08.07.13 at 12:30 pm }

To Ken G.

The bakery is OTR, near my house, on the East Side.

Yes, I’m done with the wrecker.
—-

To donfriedman:

This blog is not the Yiddishe Cup van. Cut the dirty jokes.

4 Ken G. { 08.07.13 at 1:11 pm }

I took “the corner bakery” as somewhere near that apartment in question. I was at the Lakewood Arts Festival last weekend and clicked on the “Kosher Near Me” app on my smartphone, and all that came on was that there’s nothing “within 10 miles”….

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