CHECK OUT MY LIFESTYLE
This is a fake profile.
I spit whenever and wherever I want.
I search the city dump for old toilet seats and crumpled milk cartons. I use them for collages. I reject traditional beauty.
I love TV.
I have very sexy legs.
I have a big house. I need another one. I’m going to see a real estate agent on Friday.
I can’t read in the car. That’s my major weakness: motion sickness.
I want to be Mr. Rogers, but not from Pittsburgh. I’m tender and vivid, kids tell me.
My fields of expertise? A few . . .
Rock and roll trivia, Oriental rugs and baking. I talk mostly about baking, because everyone thinks that’s great; everyone likes cake.
I wear a Speedo bathing suit around the house in the summer. I hate air conditioning.
I trigger crises.
I love movies — all kinds: avant-garde, Jewish, Gay/Lesbian. My favorite movie is The Awning Fabricator. It’s Serbian.
I’ve had ink ooze from my pens into my pants.
My girlfriend, Kiki, is sumptuous, intense, curvaceous and grotesque. She is also a fugitive, mostly from my wife.
Let’s meet for lunch. I’m in Aspen today. I would love to see you.
Check out my lifestyle.
Footnote: Four percent of the above verbiage is stolen from the Poetry Project Newsletter.
Be at Wiley tomorrow night (7:30 p.m. Thurs., July 25). See Yiddishe Cup.
Wiley Middle School is at 2181 Miramar Blvd., University Hts., Ohio. Free music, free ice cream. Indoors if raining.