I CRY A LOT
Charlie Chaplin brings me to tears. Louis Armstrong and Beethoven do too. T.S. Eliot — yes, I know he didn’t like Jews — but you can’t deny his greatness. For instance, “Humankind can not bear too much reality.”
Yes, reality blows — as we used to say in junior high. (We said the “blows” part.)
I escape to the arts. I escape to this:
Fire escapes have to be painted every year in Cleveland, or they rust.
I used to be shallower, vainer, younger and facetious. Now I’m all that, and older.
I’m thinking of getting elevator shoes. A couple inches might change my life.
I don’t like ferrets.
Go ahead, indict me.
Indict me on this too: Anglomania, Jewmania and prickliness.
Downton Abbey — the TV show — is terrific. Everybody is so taciturn and proper. Nobody runs his or her mouth.
Who’s a Jew? That’s my second obsession. I annually debate whether Brubeck was a Jew. He wasn’t. Or was Chaplin Jewish? No, he wasn’t.
Prickliness, that’s a universal trait. I cut off a man’s position in the check-out line at Dave’s supermarket. The man said, “What you doin’?”
“I’m ahead of you.”
“No, you ain’t. You moved!”
I had moved for a second! I had left my cart in one line and walked to another line to see which was shorter.
I said “you win” to the man, and let him in front. He got out of the store before me!
I’m looking for elevator shoes.
I cry a lot.
This one is real. The above post is half real.
It’s easy to fire a drunken building manager, or a thieving one, but it’s hard to fire a manager who is only lousy.
For instance, he doesn’t answer the phone quickly enough, or he doesn’t clean enough.
I thought about firing Sabina; I had hired her husband, not her, and her husband had skipped out on her. She was shoveling snow, cutting grass, and climbing ladders. It wasn’t her strong suit; she had majored in Russian lit at a Russian university.
My tenants reported negative things about her.
That helped — me.
I asked a tenant how the manager was performing, and he said, “I hate her.”
“Do you hate me too?” I said, trying to establish a baseline on his “hate.”
I fired her.
Then I rehired her. She couldn’t get welfare because she had no green card. I let her stay.
She found a boyfriend – a guy in Avon Lake – and moved out.
I owe that guy in Avon Lake.
“Sabina” is a pseudonym.