THE ALL-STAR GAME
This just in . . . the lineup for the klezmer clarinetists’ all-star game:
Andy Statman ss
Good hands in the altissimo register.
More Dutch than Honus Wagner. Flying Dutchman II.
Good with grace notes.
Mr. Twinkle Toes. Moves lightly over the clarinet break.
Don Byron cf
Eccentric, yet loved. “That’s just Don being Don.”
Young enough to crouch for three hours.
Ilene Stahl 3b
Best Jewish third-baseman since Al Rosen.
Ripken-esque. Can play the entire Nutcracker without water.
Can drive notes to any field: right, left, jazz, klez.
Has super-wiggly vibrato and Hoyt Wilhelm longevity.
Joel Rubin coach
Two-time NCAA klezmer coach of the year.
Hankus Netsky mgr
Best first name. Better even than “Honus.” It doesn’t matter Hankus is more of a sax/piano guy.
National anthem by Yiddishe Cup:
” . . . And the party planner’s red glare,
The seltzer bottles bursting in air.”
2 of 2 posts for 7/8/09