{"id":5981,"date":"2011-08-10T08:00:41","date_gmt":"2011-08-10T12:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=5981"},"modified":"2012-03-26T16:56:03","modified_gmt":"2012-03-26T20:56:03","slug":"tossed-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2011\/08\/10\/tossed-out\/","title":{"rendered":"TOSSED OUT"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I rented to <\/strong><\/span>a commercial photographer who moved out after 23 years and left a store full of manila folders, invoices, developing trays and chemicals.\u00a0 Three dumpsters’ worth.\u00a0 He shouldn\u2019t have done that.\u00a0 I had never hassled him about late fees.<\/p>\n

Down the street, the Armed Forces Recruiting Center moved out after 40 years and left a punching bag, three couches, 27 chairs, a lot of\u00a0 \u201cArmy of One\u201d promotional material and a 1970s stereo system.\u00a0 That wasn’t the half of it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The good news: the government — unlike the photographer — paid for the clean-up.\u00a0 Also, I got $75 for the Armed Forces sign on Craigslist.\u00a0 (I thought the sign would go for more.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Perfume bottle doubling as a pen holder<\/p><\/div>\n

I\u2019m sitting<\/strong><\/span> on about 3,000 perfume bottles. \u00a0I\u2019m not totally sure they are perfume bottles.\u00a0 Martha’s Beauty Salon left the bottles in the basement.\u00a0 The bottles are packed in cartons with zone numbers on them, not zip codes. (Pre-1963.)<\/p>\n

Every month I serve an eviction notice on a lawyer.\u00a0\u00a0 Every single month.\u00a0 Then I file an eviction on him.<\/p>\n

The lawyer rents a storefront office.\u00a0 I pay the $85 eviction filing fee and get a court date.<\/p>\n

The day<\/strong><\/span> before the court hearing, the lawyer pays the rent, including the legal fees.\u00a0 Like clockwork.<\/p>\n

Until he doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

At eviction court he said to me, \u201cI\u2019m broke.\u201d\u00a0 No tears, no dough. \u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re in business.\u00a0 You understand,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t have the money.\u00a0 I\u2019m moving out.\u201d<\/p>\n

He turned in the keys and cleaned the place.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He stole<\/strong><\/span> money from his clients.\u00a0 He was disbarred in April and convicted of grand theft in June.\u00a0 Sentencing is next month.<\/p>\n

Note to the probation department: he left the store clean.<\/p>\n

—-<\/p>\n

As my dad used to say . . . <\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Meaning: Pay the rent.\u00a0 We aren’t a loan company.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I rented to a commercial photographer who moved out after 23 years and left a store full of manila folders, invoices, developing trays and chemicals.\u00a0 Three dumpsters’ worth.\u00a0 He shouldn\u2019t have done that.\u00a0 I had never hassled him about late fees. Down the street, the Armed Forces Recruiting Center moved out after 40 years and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-landlord-biz","category-toby-stratton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5981"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8625,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5981\/revisions\/8625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}