{"id":29171,"date":"2021-11-03T08:11:51","date_gmt":"2021-11-03T12:11:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=29171"},"modified":"2022-02-23T13:43:20","modified_gmt":"2022-02-23T18:43:20","slug":"i-do-security-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2021\/11\/03\/i-do-security-work\/","title":{"rendered":"I DO SECURITY WORK"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I\u2019m still<\/strong><\/span> at it &#8212; security work. My office is on Mercantile Road in Beachwood. No sign. I&#8217;m in back of Pella Windows.<\/p>\n<p>I tore down a Royal Castle hamburger joint and used the tiny crown tiles (like on the Ontario license plate) for an in-lay on my company\u2019s lunchroom floor. I also put in a sliding board for dogs at my office. My place rates in the \u201cTop 10 Best Places to Work in Cleveland.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I specialize in rent collections. My tenants scream at my boys: \u201cYou can\u2019t put my shit out on the street!\u201d And my boys scream back: \u201c<em>You<\/em> break law. <em>You<\/em> no pay rent. Now <em>we<\/em> break law!\u201d My collectors are Albanian and Ukrainian.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I\u2019m involved<\/strong><\/span>, in a good way, in the community, too. I hire interns from the Beachwood High wrestling team, like Sam Gross 112, Alec Jacober 130, Ryan Harris 125. These guys can squeeze through small openings.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou Want to be a Jewish Cop?\u201d &#8212; that\u2019s my annual lecture at Beachwood High career day. I tell the kids, \u201cBe a cop but don\u2019t be a wussy cop. Don\u2019t be like that cop at Heinen\u2019s parking lot with the Harpo Marx Jewfro.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I like<\/strong> <\/span>klezmer. That&#8217;s why I&#8217;m featured here. My friend Stratton is the leader of Klezmer Cup. I know every <em>yidl<\/em> in Cleveland.<\/p>\n<p><small><em>[fake profile]<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m still at it &#8212; security work. My office is on Mercantile Road in Beachwood. No sign. I&#8217;m in back of Pella Windows. I tore down a Royal Castle hamburger joint and used the tiny crown tiles (like on the Ontario license plate) for an in-lay on my company\u2019s lunchroom floor. I also put in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29171"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29644,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29171\/revisions\/29644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}