{"id":28423,"date":"2021-06-30T08:00:47","date_gmt":"2021-06-30T12:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=28423"},"modified":"2021-06-30T08:34:53","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T12:34:53","slug":"think-tank","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2021\/06\/30\/think-tank\/","title":{"rendered":"THINK TANK"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I run<\/strong><\/span> a bar mitzvah party think tank. I supply clients &#8212; mostly DJs &#8212; with explosives, lyrics and games. Some of my games are free, just to build web traffic. For instance, take my humiliation game; the bar mitzvah boy stands on the dance floor surrounded by searing sterno cans. We throw napkins at him.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">My top-selling<\/span> games are Twine Fun, Narcissism Express, Beach Sand Saturation, Toxic Candy, Enjambment and Trunk-like Bodies. I have Jewish-themed stuff, too. The kids wear bottle caps on their heads, and the last kid to lose his \u201cyarmulke,\u201d wins. Lots of body contact.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">My best-selling<\/span> game is Trash Floating in the Punch. We throw chicken bones, children\u2019s books from the centerpieces, and lipstick-smeared plastic cups into the punch bowl. Kids reach in and fish for prizes. It&#8217;s ecological.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I strained<\/strong><\/span> my back at a gig. Bingo, a new game &#8212; the Grandpa Shuffle. Kids walk around like oldsters and mutter creative Yiddish curses. It\u2019s shameful and stunning to see teenagers limp and spew \u201c<em>Zol er krenken un gedenken.<\/em>\u201d (Let him suffer and remember.)<\/p>\n<p>I carry the classics, too: laughing gas, toilet slime kits, photo booths, giant inflatables and partisans.<\/p>\n<p>Call me or my guy Irwin:<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_28683\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-28683\" class=\"wp-image-28683 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/slime-2-300x217.jpg\" alt=\"Irwin Weinberger\" width=\"300\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/slime-2-300x217.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/slime-2.jpg 308w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-28683\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Super-salesman Irwin Weinberger with Toilet Slime<\/p><\/div>\n<p><small><i>[fake profile]<\/i><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I run a bar mitzvah party think tank. I supply clients &#8212; mostly DJs &#8212; with explosives, lyrics and games. Some of my games are free, just to build web traffic. For instance, take my humiliation game; the bar mitzvah boy stands on the dance floor surrounded by searing sterno cans. We throw napkins at [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-klezfiction","category-on-the-road"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28423"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28423\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28998,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28423\/revisions\/28998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}