{"id":2813,"date":"2010-12-15T08:00:43","date_gmt":"2010-12-15T12:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=2813"},"modified":"2023-12-28T17:10:23","modified_gmt":"2023-12-28T22:10:23","slug":"cleveland-is-not-a-cupcake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2010\/12\/15\/cleveland-is-not-a-cupcake\/","title":{"rendered":"CLEVELAND IS NOT A CUPCAKE"},"content":{"rendered":"

 
\nA man with a<\/strong><\/span> strong Israeli accent called. I thought he wanted to rent a store.\u00a0 A lot of prospective store renters have foreign accents, particularly Middle Eastern.<\/p>\n

But the Israeli wanted to talk music. He wanted to sell me a Yiddishe Cup ringtone.<\/p>\n

Then I got a call from Elias, who wanted to open a bakery.<\/p>\n

“You would be<\/strong><\/span> my second Elias!” I said.<\/p>\n

This Elias – like the first Elias — was Lebanese.<\/p>\n

I’ve also rented to Eli, a driving school operator.<\/p>\n

Christian Arabs are often Eli, Elias, or Mike. Or Sammy.<\/p>\n

\"\"I rented to Shaukat Ali.\u00a0 Not a Jew.\u00a0 (Not a Christian either.)\u00a0 Ali was a Pakistani computer repairman.\u00a0 He began wearing all white, growing a beard and praying in his store. \u00a0He lost some business.<\/p>\n

Widad called. \u00a0\u00a0I asked Widad if that was her first name. \u00a0Yes.\u00a0 She wanted to open an Arab restaurant.\u00a0 She said, “Have you ever been to the Middle East?”<\/p>\n

“Israel,” \u00a0I said.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

No biggie.\u00a0 Most Arab store owners are just trying to make a living.<\/p>\n

I once attempted to talk Middle East politics with an Arab tenant. \u00a0He said, “That’s over there<\/em>.\u00a0 I’m here<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

Wadid wanted to sign the lease right then.\u00a0 I said, “Whoa, Widad” (to myself).\u00a0 \u00a0I said, “You’ll need about $100,000 for grease traps, exhaust hoods, upgraded electrical service, architectural drawings, two ADA-approved bathrooms and a fire extinguisher system.”<\/p>\n

The restaurant didn’t happen.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

There were two Ivans,<\/strong><\/span> both Croatian shoe repairmen. One was small and friendly, and the other was terrible.\u00a0 He banged so relentlessly on his anvil he nearly drove the photographer next-door nuts. \u00a0I had the walls soundproofed.<\/p>\n

But we purposefully did a shoemaker (a lousy job) on soundproofing the shoe repair store. \u00a0To soundproof a room correctly, you have to float a new wall and stuff the crawl space with fiberglass, and it still won’t work.<\/p>\n

\"\"A friend considered opening a cupcake shop.<\/p>\n

Cleveland is not cupcakeville, I thought.\u00a0 I said, “You can go broke with a trendy concept in Cleveland.”<\/p>\n

You don’t need<\/em> cupcakes.<\/p>\n

But if you do, <\/strong><\/span> there is an excellent Hungarian bakery. You drive by this place for years and don’t even notice it.\u00a0 Tommy’s Pastries, Madison Avenue, West Side.\u00a0 There is nothing in the display windows.\u00a0 Tommy’s makes a zserb\u00f3, <\/em>a chocolate\/walnut\/apricot dessert.<\/p>\n

Zserb\u00f3<\/em> is the Cleveland cupcake.<\/p>\n

—–
\nBandleader Walt Mahovlich <\/a>told me about Tommy’s and zserb\u00f3<\/em>.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0(Pronounced ZHAIR-boh.)
\n—–
\nHere’s an amusing new video — and free singing lesson — from Yiddishe Cup’s alternate drummer:<\/span><\/p>\n