<\/p>\n
I was <\/span><\/strong>out of my skull when I broke into boxcars, unloading Cutty Sark, golf balls and tires. I used tin snips that cut right through corrugated steel. This was a while ago. Now I\u2019m retired and just watch TV. I have an intense appetite for the Indians — or whatever they’re called — and sausage and hash browns.<\/p>\n I’m lonely now with Corona-time. I never got married. A mistake. There was this chick in the 1970s who loved me, but I wasn\u2019t ready.\u00a0Schmuck — me. <\/em>I joined the Marines and was in for six months. Semper Fidelis<\/em> was plain bullshit to me. Latin bullshit. I quit.<\/p>\n You ever<\/span> notice how Italians swear so much?\u00a0It\u2019s very big with them. If you\u2019re Italian, you\u2019re better than everybody else. You can be the biggest, dumbest fuck on two feet, but if you\u2019re Italian, you\u2019re it. I have enough spaghetti and wine in my veins to be Italian. The goddamn hot peppers, I can eat a mason jar full. But I’m not Italian, not by a long shot.<\/p>\n My family<\/strong><\/span> disowned me after Marion. A Jewish boy in the joint — me.<\/em> Not kosher. I did three years there, then two in Chillicothe. I haven\u2019t talked to my relatives in, I bet, 30 years. When I got out the last time, I made a clean slate of things. I sold stained glass to restaurants. Completely legit. But I didn\u2019t like it, so I went back to stealing. The hardest part was carrying the loot. I was that <\/em>good.<\/p>\n My biggest mistake? Quitting high school. I thought I knew more than the teachers. Schmuck — me<\/em>, again. <\/em>I hung out with the delinquents who stole cars. An old fat Jew \u2014 we called him the Eggman \u2014 ran the show.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have a dime to my name. I blew it all on cards, broads and racehorses. After a while, I couldn\u2019t deal with the thickheaded Italians at the racetrack, so I got out. But not before I was broke. I love wieners and Coke. Love<\/em> that combo. My best heist was when I pinched three cases of sausage from Red Barn. I didn\u2019t fence it. I ate it all! I\u2019m in <\/span>menopause now \u2014 male menopause. The docs talk about it on TV. I love my flat-screen. Almost perfect. Just me and my TV.<\/p>\n Here’s my <\/strong>record: NAME: JOSEPH A. MOSKOWITZ [fake profile]<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was out of my skull when I broke into boxcars, unloading Cutty Sark, golf balls and tires. I used tin snips that cut right through corrugated steel. This was a while ago. Now I\u2019m retired and just watch TV. I have an intense appetite for the Indians — or whatever they’re called — and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27847"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27847\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27858,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27847\/revisions\/27858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\nALIAS\/NICKNAME: JOEY MOSCOW
\nDOB: 12-11-1953
\nFACIAL ODDITIES: UNK
\nFACIAL HAIR: GOATEE
\nSPEECH: POLITE
\nCOMPLEXION: MED
\nMISSING BODY PARTS: UNK
\nGENERAL APPEARANCE: UNKEMPT
\nTEETH: UNK
\nSCAR\/BIRTHMARK\/MOLE: UNK
\nTATTOO: UNK
\nWT: 325
\nHGT: 5-8
\nADDRESS: UNK
\nCONVIC: AGGRAV BURGLARY, LARCENY, KIDNAPPING, CRIMINAL TOOLS, GRAND LARCENY<\/p>\n