{"id":27718,"date":"2020-06-03T08:00:36","date_gmt":"2020-06-03T12:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=27718"},"modified":"2020-12-09T16:31:43","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T21:31:43","slug":"im-socially-awkward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2020\/06\/03\/im-socially-awkward\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;M SOCIALLY AWKWARD"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I have<\/strong> <\/span>a cottage by Lake Erie. Before coronavirus, I&#8217;d invite everybody over &#8212; friends from high school,\u00a0musicians, my wife&#8217;s schoolteacher friends. People liked the lake.<\/p>\n<p>Funny thing, in Cleveland few people live by the lake. For instance, Cleveland Heights is six miles from the lake. One guy came to my parties from Indiana. Jeff left Cleveland twenty years ago and returned just to see the lake. He liked to toke down on pot. Am I saying that right &#8212; &#8220;toke down on pot&#8221;? It&#8217;s been a while for me.<\/p>\n<p>The water on the lake is rarely blue. It\u2019s usually green. We drink beer until the lake turns blue. Then we play klezmer, &#8220;Louie Louie&#8221; and &#8220;Mustang Sally.&#8221; One guy, Dave, always wants to sing &#8220;Mustang Sally.&#8221; He&#8217;s in Thailand most of the time, thankfully. He goes over there for the girls, I think.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>I wonder<\/strong><\/span> if anybody would show up at my parties if not for the beer and lake. I\u2019m not a big draw. I\u2019m taciturn to the extreme. I\u00a0talk in a monotone like a depressive. Maybe they like my hot dogs. I get the best: Vienna. Also, I serve some veggie stuff. I wonder: What if I threw my next party in the Heights? Would anybody show up? I\u2019m afraid to think about it.<\/p>\n<p><small><em>[fake profile]<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have a cottage by Lake Erie. Before coronavirus, I&#8217;d invite everybody over &#8212; friends from high school,\u00a0musicians, my wife&#8217;s schoolteacher friends. People liked the lake. Funny thing, in Cleveland few people live by the lake. For instance, Cleveland Heights is six miles from the lake. One guy came to my parties from Indiana. Jeff [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27718"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27729,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27718\/revisions\/27729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}