{"id":25694,"date":"2018-06-20T08:00:43","date_gmt":"2018-06-20T12:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=25694"},"modified":"2018-07-27T08:22:08","modified_gmt":"2018-07-27T12:22:08","slug":"im-a-sensuous-old-crook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2018\/06\/20\/im-a-sensuous-old-crook\/","title":{"rendered":"I’M A SENSUOUS OLD CROOK"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sensuous.<\/strong><\/span> Everybody knows that, like I like opera and tennis. I was born above a deli in 1949. I remember the pickles. The cukes were right in the goddamn basement. My parents got the hell out of there in 1955 and moved to the suburbs, South Euclid.<\/p>\n

I never really wanted to kill nobody. I was just an accomplice. At Chillicothe, I did kitchen work. I don\u2019t mind getting dirty. I was numero uno<\/em> with all the inmates, especially the Cleveland Italians and, of course, the Jews.<\/p>\n

\"comedyFor me, personally, the whole thing went kaplooey in \u201979 — the year I was busted. The Crash of \u201979, for me, was not a book. It was real. I made some scores after, when I got out, and blew everything on a racehorse \u2013- owning one. I couldn\u2019t deal with the thick-headed Italians at the track no more, to tell you the truth.<\/p>\n

I’ve learned<\/strong><\/span> a few things. If your mama mixes her monthly blood with hamburger and serve it to you, you won\u2019t hit her. What else?<\/p>\n

I never got married. Not my thing.<\/p>\n

One last thing, I haven\u2019t ate ice cream in at least thirty years. It’s kids’ food and I’m no kid.<\/p>\n

—<\/span><\/p>\n

Last call: Funk a Deli \/ Yiddishe Cup at Cain Park, Cleveland Hts.,\u00a0this Sun. (June 24), 7 p.m. Evans Amphitheater. No tix necessary. Guests: Michael Wex, Steve Greenman, Kathy Sebo, Shawn Fink and Greg Selker.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"yc<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m sensuous. Everybody knows that, like I like opera and tennis. I was born above a deli in 1949. I remember the pickles. The cukes were right in the goddamn basement. My parents got the hell out of there in 1955 and moved to the suburbs, South Euclid. I never really wanted to kill nobody. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25694"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25694\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25764,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25694\/revisions\/25764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}