{"id":18344,"date":"2015-05-13T08:00:22","date_gmt":"2015-05-13T12:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=18344"},"modified":"2015-05-16T11:20:25","modified_gmt":"2015-05-16T15:20:25","slug":"carma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2015\/05\/13\/carma\/","title":{"rendered":"CARMA"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>My son<\/strong><\/span> Ted parked his car at the Brookpark RTA lot and flew to Las Vegas. The RTA lot was cheaper than the airport lot. My son didn\u2019t come back.\u00a0I thought he was going on a vacation, but he got a job in Las Vegas and stayed for a while.<\/p>\n<p>My son\u2019s Ford Focus, a 2007, sat in the Brookpark lot for two months, until my wife, Alice, and I loaded our car with jumper cables and a generator air pump and drove to the RTA lot, which is next to Ford Engine Plant #1 and a couple strip bars.<\/p>\n<p>I said to Alice, \u201cTed\u2019s car is technically in Brook Park, not Cleveland. That\u2019s good. If the car has been towed or stolen, we can deal with Brook Park red tape better than Cleveland red tape.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>But the<\/strong><\/span> car wasn\u2019t towed or stolen. It was there. The doors were unlocked, and the tires were low, and there was a bottle of bourbon in the backseat.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?attachment_id=14152\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-14152\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-14152\" title=\"carma  RTA lot teddys car\" src=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/carma-RTA-lot-teddys-car-300x191.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"377\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/carma-RTA-lot-teddys-car-300x191.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/carma-RTA-lot-teddys-car.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 377px) 100vw, 377px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The next day I drove Ted\u2019s car to the Lusty Wrench in Cleveland Heights. Sam Bell, the repair-shop owner, said, \u201cThe car is basically in good shape, with 89,000 miles. \u00a0The battery will not make it, and as you know the side-view mirror is taped on.\u00a0 But the tape actually is not a bad solution. The rear tires are round, black and hold air.&#8221; The car was serviceable, he proclaimed.<\/p>\n<p>What I want to know, Is Greater Cleveland really this safe? I need more data. Please park your car for two months at a Rapid stop and tell me.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<br \/>\n<small> <i>This post first appeared at CoolCleveland.com 5\/15\/13. <\/i><\/small><\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8211;<br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #333300;\"><strong><big>SIDE B<\/big><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><small>Here&#8217;s something new . . .<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><big><big>RECALCULATING<\/big><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>You <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>dislike<\/strong><\/span> yourself for several very good reasons:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">You fist-bump too much. That is so childish. Shake hands!<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">You have tiny cracks in your fingers that irritate others. Try fist-bumping.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">You are not 25, so act your age.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Your sexuality is questionable.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>Cut back<\/strong><\/span> on the Facebook postings. Three a day is<br \/>\ntoo many.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Don&#8217;t be so jittery.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Move to a log cabin. Or else go to an airport lounge with your laptop and iPhone, and live there for a week.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">Doodle more.<\/li>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><em><strong>Recalculating . .<\/strong> <\/em><\/span>.<span style=\"font-variant: small-caps;\"> ignore this.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/doodle.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-23053\" src=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/doodle-300x292.jpg\" alt=\"doodle\" width=\"300\" height=\"292\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/doodle-300x292.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/doodle.jpg 616w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My son Ted parked his car at the Brookpark RTA lot and flew to Las Vegas. The RTA lot was cheaper than the airport lot. My son didn\u2019t come back.\u00a0I thought he was going on a vacation, but he got a job in Las Vegas and stayed for a while. My son\u2019s Ford Focus, a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,16,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cleveland-full","category-kinder-the","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18344"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23215,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18344\/revisions\/23215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}