{"id":12821,"date":"2012-12-19T08:00:33","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T13:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=12821"},"modified":"2012-12-22T17:16:18","modified_gmt":"2012-12-22T22:16:18","slug":"the-big-thrill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2012\/12\/19\/the-big-thrill\/","title":{"rendered":"THE BIG THRILL"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I went<\/strong><\/span> to the White House for a Christmas party.\u00a0 Did you?<\/p>\n

My daughter, Lucy<\/a>, works for a Chicago event-planning company, and she helped decorate the White House for Christmas.\u00a0 She got me in.<\/p>\n

Lucy and I arrived fashionably late, because my daughter has been to the White House before, and she didn\u2019t want to wait in the long line. \u00a0We were the last guests — numbers 485 and 486.<\/p>\n

I was<\/strong><\/span> denied entrance. What?<\/p>\n

I sat on a folding chair in a heated tool shed–like room in the White House backyard. My birth date was listed incorrectly on the White House checklist. I thought I might miss the party.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But the guard, constantly checking her smartphone for updates, finally said, \u201cYou\u2019re good. Tell the next security booth, you\u2019re a re-clear.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was a re-clear at the next security stop — a dog-sniffing station.<\/p>\n

A Marine<\/strong><\/span> Band jazz quintet played in the main entrance of the White House. Michelle Obama was there. Lincoln\u2019s portrait was up in the State Dining Room.\u00a0 There were 54 live Christmas trees, according to the Washington Post<\/em>.\u00a0 Plus some fake trees — classy fake trees, like out of glass.<\/p>\n

I told the Marine Band\u2019s bass player to tell his boss to bring in Yiddishe Cup\u00a0for the Chanukah party next year.<\/p>\n

I did not see Bo the dog.\u00a0 I did not sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. <\/strong>I did not see any celebs. The food — at grazing stations — was very good.\u00a0 Spielberg, dressed like Lincoln, was at the White House a couple nights before, to screen Lincoln<\/em> with the president.\u00a0 That was the word at the party.\u00a0 There was a 300-pound gingerbread replica of White House.<\/p>\n

This event was a thrill for me — a once in a lifetime experience. No, wait, I’ve got to talk to my rabbi; he once lit the White House Chanukah menorah.\u00a0 Maybe he’ll know how to get Yiddishe Cup in.<\/p>\n

My rabbi called.\u00a0 He said,\u00a0 “Somebody from the synagogue got me in. Or a group of people.\u00a0 No one person from the synagogue took sole credit.\u00a0 Maybe the White House wanted somebody from Cleveland.”<\/p>\n

The Jews of Cuyahoga County.\u00a0 Work with them.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Lucy Stratton, Bert Stratton, and Claus.
White House, 2012<\/p><\/div>\n

—<\/p>\n

SIDE B<\/strong><\/span><\/big><\/p>\n

KLEZKAMP 2012<\/big><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n

This year\u2019s<\/strong><\/span> KlezKamp theme is anti-NY.<\/p>\n

No rush-rush.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The KlezKamp <\/span>swimming pool has piped-in klezmer music. Don\u2019t do the crawl; your wildly flapping arms will drown out the underwater speakers. (Kapelye\u2019s classic, \u201cChicken,\u201d is looped.)<\/p>\n

New this year: a pretzel bar . . . Rold Gold, Dan Dee, Snyder\u2019s of Berlin, Snyder\u2019s of Hanover. (Trucked in from Cleveland.\u00a0 Heymish<\/em>.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There is a spiritual gathering every morning in the exercise room. Universal love machines. Yarmulkes optional.<\/p>\n

You can<\/strong><\/span> touch your musical instrument but can\u2019t play it.\u00a0 Oil keys, apply grease to cork joints, rub valve oil. And calm down.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Dress code?\u00a0 Only if you insist.\u00a0 Try the all-cotton plush bathrobes with the KlezKamp logo ($179).\u00a0 Notice how young klezmer musicians\u00a0 wear KK bathrobes on stage?<\/p>\n

At KlezKamp, director Henry Sapoznik repeats the same spiel every hour, so you don\u2019t miss anything if you skip a lecture. His topic this year: \u201cNew York Sucks. I Moved to Wisconsin.\u201d<\/p>\n

Also, this<\/strong><\/span> year pianist Pete Sokolow blots out — pours Manischewitz on — his classic how-to book, 100 Jewish Music Insults That Really Work<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Before this book disappears forever, here are, for the record, Sokolow’s five favorite putdowns:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 What\u2019s your phone number? Junior congregation needs a clarinetist.
\n2.\u00a0 You\u2019re slicker than butter on matzo, but there\u2019s no salt.
\n3.\u00a0 Tighten your neck strap.\u00a0 Tight<\/em>er.
\n4.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t find D<\/em> freygish <\/em>with a GPS.
\n5.\u00a0 I make desk lamps. Let me see your clarinet.<\/p>\n

—-
\nThis is KlezFiction.\u00a0 KlezKamp<\/a> is real.\u00a0 It happens next week. <\/small><\/em>
\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I went to the White House for a Christmas party.\u00a0 Did you? My daughter, Lucy, works for a Chicago event-planning company, and she helped decorate the White House for Christmas.\u00a0 She got me in. Lucy and I arrived fashionably late, because my daughter has been to the White House before, and she didn\u2019t want to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12821","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kinder-the","category-klezfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12821","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12821"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12821\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13048,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12821\/revisions\/13048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12821"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12821"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12821"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}