When will<\/strong><\/span> it end?<\/p>\n Superstorm Sandy or the election?<\/p>\n Either.<\/p>\n Definitely by Tuesday.<\/p>\n Bill Clinton,<\/strong><\/span> Bruce Springsteen and Condoleezza Rice: history.<\/p>\n My friend Jane posted on Facebook: \u201cCan’t wait until this election season is over so I can be sane again.\u201d<\/p>\n A friend<\/strong><\/span> from Rhode Island asked me, \u201cHow is it living in a swing state?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s swinging,\u201d I said.\u00a0 It’s sweet. We\u2019re loved.<\/p>\n When I’m not loved, I\u2019m a landlord. I receive calls from political operatives who want to rent stores for \u201cstaging areas.\u201d<\/p>\n I haven\u2019t<\/strong><\/span> rented to a politician in years, because politicians tend to trash stores and not pay enough rent. The campaign workers are gone the day after the election, but the pizza boxes aren\u2019t. And where are the keys?<\/p>\n I\u2019m supposed to give the store away cheap, as a political gesture. My gesture: Pay and I\u2019ll rent to you.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m Brian,\u201d said the young man on the phone.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere are<\/strong><\/span> you from?\u201d I asked. He didn\u2019t sound local.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m in Cleveland right now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI need<\/strong><\/span> the store for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow many people will be in the store?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTwenty to 30 people. They\u2019ll go out canvassing. Teams are sent out.\u201d<\/p>\n Twenty to<\/strong><\/span> 30 people is a lot of foot traffic for a 1,000 square-foot store, and a lot of pizza boxes.<\/p>\n Plain or pepperoni.<\/p>\n I’ll never know.\u00a0 My price was too high, I guess.<\/p>\n —<\/p>\n SIDE B<\/big><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n From the history channel . . .<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n PLAYING POLITICS<\/big><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n When a<\/strong><\/span> relative ran for school board and lost, my father said, \u201cDon\u2019t run again.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to get a loser\u2019s reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n My relative didn\u2019t run again.<\/p>\n I, too, play by my dad’s rules.<\/p>\n I might<\/strong><\/span> run.\u00a0 When?\u00a0 Not saying.<\/p>\n First, a little background: I was a Kennedy man.\u00a0 (Who wasn\u2019t?\u00a0 A lot of people.)<\/p>\n Bert Stratton w\/ Kennedy buttons, Ohio Stadium, 1960<\/p><\/div>\n I started my own country (on paper) in sixth grade and elected presidents and representatives.\u00a0 My country was a solace, because\u00a0 in the real world I couldn\u2019t run for president because a) I wasn\u2019t 35 and b) I was Jewish.<\/p>\n Now presumably a Jew could win the nomination for the top job.<\/p>\n Let me be clear: I won’t start out at school-board level or even vice president.<\/p>\n My Little<\/strong><\/span> League teammate Joel Hyatt (Cleveland Heights High ’68) ran for U.S. Senate and got clobbered.\u00a0 He hadn’t paid his dues; he hadn’t run for lesser offices.<\/p>\n Lee Fisher wins state senate seat, 1982<\/p><\/div>\n Lee Fisher (Shaker Heights High \u201969) paid dues.\u00a0 I saw him at civic club meetings in Collinwood in 1982:\u00a0 six neighbors, me and Lee.\u00a0 Fisher eventually climbed to lieutenant governor. Then he got clobbered for the U.S. Senate.\u00a0 He paid\u00a0 dues.\u00a0 Give him that.<\/p>\n I’m willing to pay dues.\u00a0 About $10.<\/p>\n My American<\/strong><\/span> history teacher in high school said Stratton<\/em> is a good political name.\u00a0 (My teacher was Americo Betori.\u00a0 He should have run for mayor of Cleveland in 1950.\u00a0 He would have won.)<\/p>\n Stratton<\/em>.\u00a0 Remember that name.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n A few weeks ago at Simchat Torah, the rabbi said, \u201cWe will now read the last verse of the Book of Deuteronomy.\u201d\u00a0 A Yiddishe Cup musician — not paying close attention — said, \u201cDid he just say, ‘We will now read from the Book of Mitt Romney’?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (A version of this post appeared in the Cleveland Plain Dealer 11\/4\/12.) When will it end? Superstorm Sandy or the election? Either. Definitely by Tuesday. Ohio returns to flyover status Tuesday, and I’m back to looking for celebs at Ohio Turnpike rest stops — bands and gangsters traveling from New York to Chicago. Bill Clinton, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coming-of-age","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12287"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12376,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12287\/revisions\/12376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/ohio-map-sohio-heart-of-it-all2-136x300.jpg\" "\\"ohio")
Ohio returns to flyover status Tuesday, and I’m back to looking for celebs at Ohio Turnpike rest stops — bands and gangsters traveling from New York to Chicago.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/kennedy-buttons-bert-oct-1960-osu-game1-300x264.jpg\" "\\"kennedy")
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/kennedy-buttons-togther-183x300.jpg\" "\\"kennedy")
My mother<\/strong><\/span> said I could run and win.\u00a0 She duped me!\u00a0 My man, Abe Ribicoff of Connecticut, couldn\u2019t even run.\u00a0 Newsweek\u00a0<\/em> said the country wasn\u2019t ready for the Ribman for prez or even veep.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Fisher-Lee-1982-win-state-senate-race-124x300.jpg\" "\\"Fisher")