<\/p>\n
I miss<\/strong><\/span> eviction court. Hopefully, the feds will let landlords evict again. Supposed to be Sept. 3, now — the date to reopen the evictions courts nationwide.\u00a0 We’ll see.<\/p>\n I do my own “forcible entry and detainers.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n That means evictions.<\/p>\n First, I serve the deadbeat tenant an eviction notice. Technically, that is a three-day notice.<\/p>\n Then I go to the court, and for $125 fill out another piece of paper, called a “forcible entry.” On the form, under the “second cause of action,” I write: “Tenant owes back rent.” I used to write novellas: “Blah, blah, wherefore plaintiff prays for damages and the cost of this action . . .” A waste of time. The tenant is broke; you’re not going to get anything by writing more.<\/p>\n I occasionally <\/strong><\/span>lose a case — usually on oddball stuff.\u00a0 Like when an AIDS victim claimed I didn’t rent to him because of his illness. I didn’t know he had AIDS. We settled for $620. I was fine with that. You know what a real discrimination case can cost? Five-thousand dollars, for starters.<\/p>\n Another AIDS victim wanted to move from the fourth floor to the first. I didn’t want that; the guy was always late with his rent, and I would have to repaint his old suite and his new one. He got a lawyer who said I was discriminating. I said, “Can I help you with that couch?” The tenant moved to the first floor and died a couple months later.<\/p>\n Lawyers say past rent is “recoverable.” Yes, the rent is recoverable, but try to recover money from somebody who’s broke. Not <\/em>recoverable.<\/p>\n The courts have determined that accepting late rent “effectively waives strict compliance with the rental terms.”<\/p>\n Strict compliance<\/em>?\u00a0 <\/strong>Who’s into strict compliance?<\/span> <\/span>I accept late rent payments. I don’t say to tenants, “Oh, it’s the eighth of the month, I can’t accept your rent.”<\/p>\n I sometimes hire a lawyer for legal complications — matters beyond the workaday. For instance, the city wanted to ban basement dwellings because the mayor thought below-ground suites were a throwback to the dark ages when custodians lived underground and stoked coal-fired boilers. My lawyer brought a stenographer to the city hearing. The city guys were impressed with that. Also, a group of ethnic babushka landladies — who owned basement rental units too — were there. Afterward, they thanked me for stymying the city’s effort.<\/p>\n Quasi-legal <\/strong>advice:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n 1. Do not discriminate against people with kids.\u00a0 Federal law prohibits it.<\/p>\n 2. Do<\/em> discriminate on age — on the young side — if you want. But be consistent. For example, you can prohibit adults under a certain age, say 22, from your apartments. That means 18-to-21 year olds can’t live in your buildings. That reduces the partying and potatoes stuck in the toilet drains.<\/p>\n 3. When you try to evict a party animal, you need to quote verbatim from the Ohio Revised Code, Section 5321.05 (A) (8).\u00a0 That’s the part that ends “conduct yourself in a manner that will not disturb your neighbor’s peaceful enjoyment of the premises.”\u00a0 You have to use that exact language.<\/p>\n Peaceful enjoyment. That’s the goal. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I miss eviction court. Hopefully, the feds will let landlords evict again. Supposed to be Sept. 3, now — the date to reopen the evictions courts nationwide.\u00a0 We’ll see. I do my own “forcible entry and detainers.” That means evictions. First, I serve the deadbeat tenant an eviction notice. Technically, that is a three-day notice. 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\n<\/p>\n