{"id":11119,"date":"2016-12-14T08:00:44","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T13:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=11119"},"modified":"2017-03-15T09:34:48","modified_gmt":"2017-03-15T13:34:48","slug":"really-stupid-post-happy-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2016\/12\/14\/really-stupid-post-happy-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"10 HAPPY TIPS FOR 2017"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Because I<\/strong><\/span> play happy music (klezmer), people think I’m an expert on happiness.
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nI am. Here are some ways to be happier in 2017:<\/p>\n

1. Wear shorts<\/strong><\/span> to a wedding. You’ll draw attention away from the bride, to you, where it belongs.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>2. Sleep with an insect light on. Once a week works.<\/p>\n

3. Start a<\/strong><\/span> doo-wop band.<\/p>\n

4. Invent a<\/span> new colonoscopy flavor. (Pineapple, cherry, lemon-lime and orange are already taken.)<\/p>\n

5. Go to a fire station on Christmas Eve and serve kreplach<\/em>.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

6. Trade diarrhea stories with a friend over a campfire.<\/p>\n

7. Convert<\/strong><\/span> to Christianity (or Judaism). Why spend your life in only one religion? See what\u2019s out there.<\/p>\n

7. Spend at least $1,000 on watches.<\/p>\n

8. Re-watch Napoleon Dynamite.<\/em><\/p>\n

9. Spy on your neighbor to learn what kind of beer and Smucker’s, he or she consumes. If you see Sugar Free Apricot, call the police.<\/p>\n

9. Buy insurance<\/strong><\/span> for fun one afternoon.<\/p>\n

10. Hold a pen horizontally in your mouth and bite down until the ink cartridge explodes. This activates the same muscles that create a smile.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Because I play happy music (klezmer), people think I’m an expert on happiness. I am. Here are some ways to be happier in 2017: 1. Wear shorts to a wedding. You’ll draw attention away from the bride, to you, where it belongs. 2. Sleep with an insect light on. Once a week works. 3. Start […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11119"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11119\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24822,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11119\/revisions\/24822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}