{"id":33974,"date":"2026-02-18T08:00:42","date_gmt":"2026-02-18T13:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=33974"},"modified":"2026-03-10T13:26:28","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T17:26:28","slug":"i-was-out-of-my-skull","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/18\/i-was-out-of-my-skull\/","title":{"rendered":"I WAS OUT OF MY SKULL"},"content":{"rendered":"

 
\nI was out of my skull. I broke into boxcars and unloaded Cutty Sark, golf balls and tires. Sometimes, tennis shoes. I had tin snips that cut right through corrugated boxcars roofs.<\/p>\n

This was 50 years ago. Now I live a fairly quiet life. I\u2019d rather not say where.<\/p>\n

Let me tell you about my life. I never got married. I should have. There was this gal in the 1970s — Roz. She loved me but I wasn\u2019t ready for her. Schmuck<\/em> — me! I was 45, for God’s sake.<\/p>\n

I was in the Marines. I couldn\u2019t stand it. I was in for six months. Semper Fidelis<\/em> was plain bullshit to me.<\/p>\n

You ever notice how Italians swear all the time? It\u2019s very big with them. If you\u2019re Italian, you\u2019re better than me, and you can cuss all day long. You can be the dumbest dunderhead on two feet, but if you\u2019re Italian, you\u2019re it.<\/p>\n

I could be Italian if I wanted to be. I got enough spaghetti and wine in my veins. And don’t forget the goddamn hot peppers. I can eat a whole mason jar full.<\/p>\n

Odd fact: I’m Jewish. I grew up in a deli on Kinsman in Cleveland. I remember the pickles. The cukes were right in the goddamn basement. They were delicious. And the goddamn gherkins.<\/p>\n

My family disowned me after Marion. What was a nice Jewish boy doing in the joint? Not kosher! I haven\u2019t talked to any relatives in, I bet, 50 years.<\/p>\n

When I got out the last time, I made a clean slate of things. I sold stained glass to restaurants. Completely legit. I didn\u2019t like it. So I went back to stealing. The hardest part was carrying the loot. I was that good.<\/p>\n

Punchline: I was an accomplice several times but never killed anybody. The chickenshits from Murray Hill did the killings. They didn\u2019t have my abilities. They stood around with their hands in their pockets, except they could kill.<\/p>\n

Crime is a head game. Keep your mouth shut and show some intelligence and you\u2019ll be fine. It has worked for me, most of the time. I\u2019m paranoid. Sometimes you just know a place is a death trap.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s all trial and error.<\/p>\n

My biggest mistake was quitting high school. I thought I knew more than the teachers. Again — schmuck<\/em>! I hung out with boys who ran a stolen butter and cigarette ring on Woodland. An old fat Jew — The Eggman — was in charge. I rigged him up a walkie-talkie, which he appreciated.<\/p>\n

Nowadays? For one thing I don\u2019t have a dime. I spent everything I ever earned. I blew it all on cards, broads, beer and racehorses. It all fell through. I couldn\u2019t deal with the thickheaded Italians at the track. I got out, but too late.<\/p>\n

\"\"I live on wieners and beer. Love that combo. And the Browns. I remember when I pinched three cases of sausages from Red Barn. I didn\u2019t fence it. I ate it all!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m 79 and in male menopause now. The docs talk about that on TV.<\/p>\n

I love my TV. It doesn\u2019t talk back to me. Perfect.<\/p>\n

For the record, here’s my record:
\nNAME: JOSEPH A. MOSKOWITZ
\nALIAS\/NICKNAME: JOEY MOSCOW
\nDOB: 12-11-46
\nFACIAL ODDIITES: UNK
\nFACIAL HAIR: MUSTACHE
\nSPEECH: POLITE
\nCOMPLEXION: MED
\nMISSING BODY PARTS: UNK
\nGENERAL APPEARANCE: UNKEMPT
\nTEETH: UNK
\nSCAR\/BIRTHMARK\/MOLE: UNK
\nTATTOO: UNK
\nWT: 245
\nHGT: 5-8
\nADDRESS: UNK
\nCONVIC: MANSLAUGHTER, AGGRAV BURGLARY, LARCENY, KIDNAPPING, CRIMINAL TOOLS, GRAND LARCENY<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  I was out of my skull. I broke into boxcars and unloaded Cutty Sark, golf balls and tires. Sometimes, tennis shoes. I had tin snips that cut right through corrugated boxcars roofs. This was 50 years ago. Now I live a fairly quiet life. I\u2019d rather not say where. Let me tell you about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33974"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33974\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34076,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33974\/revisions\/34076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}