{"id":2543,"date":"2010-11-17T08:00:05","date_gmt":"2010-11-17T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=2543"},"modified":"2012-09-28T09:28:42","modified_gmt":"2012-09-28T13:28:42","slug":"she-stole-my-skirt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2010\/11\/17\/she-stole-my-skirt\/","title":{"rendered":"SHE STOLE MY SKIRT!"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

The tenant — a poet —<\/strong><\/span> said she liked the way the sunlight glinted through her living room blinds onto the hardwood floor.<\/p>\n

“But what really got me,” she said, “was your company’s Craigslist ad about ‘a closet big enough to park a Mini Cooper in.'”<\/p>\n

I liked her. She liked my copy writing.\u00a0 She thanked me for “two wonderful years.”<\/p>\n

\"b210-effic-lr\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Another tenant — a waitress —<\/strong><\/span> interrupted the landlord-poet lovefest. The waitress, standing at the poet’s door, said another tenant — a third person — had just stolen the waitress’ skirt from the laundry room dryer and was wearing it.<\/p>\n

“Wearing it in the building?” I said.<\/p>\n

“Yes.”<\/p>\n

The skirt was a full-length, tie-dyed orange, green and red hippie shmate<\/em>.\u00a0 The skirt’s owner — the waitress — was\u00a0 26.<\/p>\n

The thief was a middle-aged black woman who wouldn’t answer her door. Not even when the cops showed up.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I was also<\/strong><\/span> dealing with a drunk who had run her faucet all night, on purpose, and had called my manager a “pig.”<\/p>\n

That woman got an eviction notice right then.<\/p>\n

I decided to phone the black woman about the tie-dyed skirt.\u00a0 I got her boyfriend.\u00a0 Good.\u00a0 He was on the lease; she wasn’t.\u00a0 I told him the skirt thief had to be out in three days.<\/p>\n

“Don’t put me out!\u00a0 She’ll go,” he said.\u00a0 He was a solid tenant, other than he left cigarette butts all over. \u00a0 He was 69 and “country” — from Tennessee.\u00a0 \u00a0 On his rent checks he wrote rant <\/em>instead of rent <\/em>in the memo line. <\/em> (Another poet?)<\/p>\n

“She can’t stay more than three days,” I said.<\/p>\n

“Can I ask,<\/strong><\/span> sir, why is that?'”<\/p>\n

“I rented to you, not her. \u00a0The woman is not on the lease.”<\/p>\n

I didn’t bring up the stolen skirt matter; that would have complicated things. But I wanted to say: “The next time your lady friend steals clothes from the laundry room, tell her not to wear the skirt in the building!”\u00a0 Out in three days.<\/p>\n

My poet tenant enclosed a poem with her final rent payment.\u00a0 It began:<\/p>\n

The way the forecast told of dark clouds,
\ndrizzle, seemed more true than the way
\nthe sun lit hills of trees, dull golds, rusts.<\/p>\n

[by Karen Schubert<\/a>]<\/p>\n

I read that poem about 10 times.\u00a0 I concluded it was a “winter is a-comin in” poem.\u00a0 \u00a0The drunks and skirt thieves were a comin’ in for the winter.<\/p>\n

—-<\/span><\/p>\n

Reminder: This blog is updated twice a week: Wednesday and Friday mornings.\u00a0 Please see the post below too.\u00a0 It’s kind of\u00a0 fresh.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The tenant — a poet — said she liked the way the sunlight glinted through her living room blinds onto the hardwood floor. “But what really got me,” she said, “was your company’s Craigslist ad about ‘a closet big enough to park a Mini Cooper in.’” I liked her. She liked my copy writing.\u00a0 She […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cops-and-robbers","category-landlord-biz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2543","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2543"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2543\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11719,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2543\/revisions\/11719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2543"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2543"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2543"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}