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I live <\/strong><\/span>near two large Amish settlements — Middlefield, Ohio, and Holmes County, Ohio. I know some of\u00a0 the differences between the various Amish, like some use battery-powered lights on their buggies and some don’t. Some use the triangular orange “slow vehicle” sign.<\/p>\n Speaking of men-in-black, I also know some Orthodox Jews. I know the crocheted yarmulke means Modern Orthodox and the black hat is more old school. I\u2019ve been around Amish and Jews — at the same time — only once. I walked into Green Road\u00a0 Synagogue (an Orthodox shul) in Cleveland, and there was an Amish man\u00a0 in the lobby. Maybe not. Maybe he was a Modern Orthodox hipster trying to look Amish. He had a wide-brim straw hat, beard, no mustache a la Solzhenitsyn.<\/p>\n Then I saw about 15 Amish women, carrying parfaits on trays, wearing blue dresses and white bonnets, coming out of the kitchen. Next I saw a horse and buggy at the side door of the synagogue. Orthodox Jews started arriving. Most were Modern Orthodox (like dentists and lawyers in knit yarmulkes), but a couple old-school rabbis looked Amish.<\/p>\n “Solzhenitsyn”<\/strong> stacked<\/strong><\/span> bales of hay in the temple lobby and brought in chickens. He was John, an Amish from Middlefield. He said he used to be a wheelwright and now worked for an Orthodox Jew in a mattress factory.\u00a0 The mattress-factory owner was hosting this sheva brochas <\/em>(post-wedding dinner). <\/em>My band, Yiddishe Cup, was playing. The Orthodox host — the mattress man – was a musician, himself, who had some show-biz flair. He was doing a Blazing Saddles<\/em> party theme. I asked the Amish buggy driver what he thought of our music. He said, \u201cIt sounds like Mozart.\u201d Maybe because of the violin?<\/p>\n “Solzhenitsyn” said some Amish in Ohio play harmonica. “That\u2019s all, for instruments,” he said. \u201cOther instruments [like flute, guitar] might lead to forming a band.” A Jewish joke?<\/p>\n The rabbi, as a joke, asked if we knew any Amish songs. We played “Amazing Grace.” That’s borderline Amish. It was probably a first for Green Road Synagogue. The Amish liked the song, and the Jews ignored us.\u00a0 Then we tried a Yiddish vocal, \u201cDi Grine Kusine,” which didn’t go over. I thought the Amish would like it because Pennsylvania Dutch is Germanic, just like Yiddish. The Amish didn’t react to the\u00a0 song. Now I know: no “Di Grine Kusine” at Amish-Jewish affairs.<\/p>\n —<\/p>\n