{"id":17374,"date":"2013-11-27T08:00:58","date_gmt":"2013-11-27T13:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=17374"},"modified":"2013-11-26T15:37:00","modified_gmt":"2013-11-26T20:37:00","slug":"13-health-tips-for-chanukah-and-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2013\/11\/27\/13-health-tips-for-chanukah-and-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"13 HEALTH TIPS FOR CHANUKAH (AND THANKSGIVING)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<p><small><em>This is KlezFiction.\u00a0 The complete KlezFiction series is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/category\/klezfiction\/\">here<\/a>.<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>These 13<\/strong><\/span> health tips are from my new e-book, <em>The<\/em> <em>Klezmer Guy Tune Up, (<\/em>which makes a great Chanukah gift!)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2013\/11\/27\/13-health-tips-for-chanukah-and-thanksgiving\/6-things-2\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-17521\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-17521\" style=\"border: 2px solid black;\" title=\"6 things\" src=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/6-things1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"223\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/6-things1.jpg 279w, http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/6-things1-139x300.jpg 139w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 223px) 100vw, 223px\" \/><\/a>1. Eat your fist at least once a week.<\/p>\n<p>2. Sing the beginning of \u201cThe Star-Spangled Banner\u201d every morning.\u00a0 It\u2019s a major triad, 5-3-1.\u00a0 It\u2019ll align you.<\/p>\n<p>3. Prick yourself.\u00a0 If your blood isn&#8217;t bright red, immediately eat potato chips.\u00a0 Any brand.\u00a0 For the salt.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>4. Therapy<\/strong><\/span> is always worth it, but don&#8217;t pay more than $150\/hour.<\/p>\n<p>5. Eat sardines once a week. \u00a0Lightly smoked Chicken of the Sea, in oil, is your best bet.<\/p>\n<p>6. You need a gum graft. Get it now!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2013\/11\/27\/13-health-tips-for-chanukah-and-thanksgiving\/7-things-2\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-17526\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-17526\" style=\"border: 2px solid black;\" title=\"7 things\" src=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/7-things1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"238\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/7-things1.jpg 298w, http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/7-things1-149x300.jpg 149w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 238px) 100vw, 238px\" \/><\/a><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>7. Drink<\/strong><\/span> olive oil in a shot glass daily.<\/p>\n<p>8. Don\u2019t knock Miller Lite. It does the job.<\/p>\n<p>9. Visit a pawn shop today and buy a power tool. Get outside your bubble!<\/p>\n<p>10. [For Catholics only: carry a smartphone at all times.\u00a0 Sainthood is hard to prove if you don\u2019t have good documentation.]<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>11. Eat<\/strong><\/span> a marshmallow with your dark chocolate. This helps your stomach absorb the flavenoids.<\/p>\n<p>12. Gamble.\u00a0 It fine-tunes the nervous system.\u00a0 Try craps first.<\/p>\n<p>13. Use Arby\u2019s Horsy Sauce on all your salads, fish and fries.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s better for you than even tomato sauce.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<em><small><\/small><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><small>There is no <\/small><\/em><small>K<\/small><small>lezmer Guy Tune-up<\/small><em><small> book.\u00a0 Like I said, this is\u00a0 KlezFiction.<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is KlezFiction.\u00a0 The complete KlezFiction series is here. These 13 health tips are from my new e-book, The Klezmer Guy Tune Up, (which makes a great Chanukah gift!) 1. Eat your fist at least once a week. 2. Sing the beginning of \u201cThe Star-Spangled Banner\u201d every morning.\u00a0 It\u2019s a major triad, 5-3-1.\u00a0 It\u2019ll align [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-klezfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17374","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17374"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17374\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17549,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17374\/revisions\/17549"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}