{"id":16504,"date":"2014-01-08T08:00:10","date_gmt":"2014-01-08T13:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=16504"},"modified":"2014-03-03T08:16:09","modified_gmt":"2014-03-03T13:16:09","slug":"mordecai-ham","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2014\/01\/08\/mordecai-ham\/","title":{"rendered":"MORDECAI HAM"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I use<\/strong><\/span> the name Mordecai Ham<\/em> on the Internet.\u00a0<\/em> I post a lot of comments and don\u2019t want cyber-nuts tracking me down.<\/p>\n

Mordecai Ham<\/em> — the actual person — was an evangelist.\u00a0 He influenced Billy Graham.\u00a0 Look Ham<\/a> up. I know from Ham; I know fundamentalist Christianity. From an early age, I was taught in church to venerate Jews and Israel.<\/p>\n

Yes, the Jews killed Jesus and cried out, \u201cHis blood be upon us and on our children.\u201d But they did so out of ignorance.\u00a0 It was part of God\u2019s plan laid out in the prophesies of Isaiah 9:6, Ezekiel and Esther. The Jews suffered mightily as God rained down Inquisitions and Holocausts to beat the band.<\/p>\n

My daddy<\/strong><\/span> was about hellfire and brimstone, tongue-talking and Satan-stomping.\u00a0 He attended the same college I did: the Kentucky Mountain Bible College.\u00a0 On my graduation I ordered neon polyester suits from the same store my daddy did: Hart, Schaffner and Marx in Chicago.<\/p>\n

I dress less showy nowadays.\u00a0 For one thing, I’m older.\u00a0 Secondly, neon is out.<\/p>\n

Where my father pastored, he had a rack of John Birch literature next to the King James Bibles in the church foyer.\u00a0 Paul Harvey was our only news source.\u00a0 Now I get news from all over. I know what bobe mayse<\/em> means, for example.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t<\/strong><\/span> smoke a corncob pipe. I don’t have a ZZ Top beard. (Pentecostals don\u2019t smoke, by the way.) I\u2019m Mordecai Ham, I am. I read the Jew York Times<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s what my father called it.<\/p>\n

<\/em>The Rev. Woody<\/span> Allen said about the New York<\/em> Times<\/em>: \u201cI want you to get an injunction against the Times<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s a New York, Jewish, communist, left-wing, homosexual newspaper.\u00a0 And that\u2019s just the sports section.\u201d<\/p>\n

My full name is Walter Terry Hamilton. Everybody calls me Sonny. I have a B.S. (Biblical Studies).<\/p>\n

I invite you to stop by my shul<\/em>, down here in the hills of beautiful Eastern Kentucky.\u00a0 I’ll save a piece of kichel<\/em> for you.<\/p>\n

Shalom, chaverim.<\/em><\/strong><\/span>
\n
\n<\/em><\/strong>Yes, my iPhone has a Yiddish\/Hebrew-word-a-day app.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

The complete fake-profiles series is here<\/a><\/em><\/small>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I use the name Mordecai Ham on the Internet.\u00a0 I post a lot of comments and don\u2019t want cyber-nuts tracking me down. Mordecai Ham — the actual person — was an evangelist.\u00a0 He influenced Billy Graham.\u00a0 Look Ham up. I know from Ham; I know fundamentalist Christianity. From an early age, I was taught in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake-profiles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16504"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16504\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19001,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16504\/revisions\/19001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}