![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/rats-5-rats-291x300.jpg\" "\\"rats")
<\/a><\/p>\nBrittany, a tenant,<\/strong><\/span> said she saw five rats in her kitchen.\u00a0 She hightailed it to her parents\u2019 house in Sandusky, Ohio, and called me. \u201cI\u2019m tired,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI have to drive in from Sandusky now every day for work.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou saw five rats at once?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cYes. Your custodian said they were rats,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cThey were<\/strong><\/span> probably mice,\u201d I said.\u00a0 I also told her to take $200 off her rent, and we would bring in a professional exterminator.<\/p>\n She said the rats crawled in her bed.<\/p>\n I paid the exterminator $102.\u00a0 He sealed the apartment with caulk and put in mouse traps that looked like miniature tinted-glass limos. \u00a0Mice crawled into the limos and died. The mice were ready for the mouse funeral parlor.<\/p>\n Brittany showed<\/strong><\/span> me a cell phone pic, taken in her kitchen, of a dead rat.<\/p>\n I said, \u201cMouse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a rat,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve seen maybe 50 trapped\u00a0 mice and two trapped rats.\u00a0 Rats are much bigger than mice.\u00a0 Rats rip things up.\u00a0 They\u2019re like raccoons in your kitchen.\u00a0 Rats rip bags to shreds.\u00a0 Rats eat through concrete.<\/p>\n \u201cYou had<\/strong><\/span> a mouse,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cRats.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlease don\u2019t say rats<\/em>,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cOK,<\/strong><\/span> rodents.\u201d<\/p>\n Yes! Success.<\/p>\n She moved out.<\/p>\n Rats.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Drug Mart<\/strong><\/span> has a new mouse trap with an extra-wide feeding plate.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s a better mouse trap; I haven’t bought one.<\/p>\n My favorite traps are traditional spring-loaded Victors, from Lititz, Pennsylvania.<\/p>\n Drug Mart was out of Victors. I got the Chinese knock-offs. The instructions on the Chinese traps read: Ne pas mettre les doigts dans la trappe<\/em>. Drug Mart must have gotten the traps from a Canadian buyout. Recommended bait: fromage, saucisson, jambon, beurre de cachuetes<\/em>.\u00a0 I figured all that out, except saucisson<\/em>.<\/p>\n I looked<\/strong><\/span> up saucisson<\/em>: French hard salami.<\/p>\n Mice live well in Canada.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t blame my tenant, Brittany,\u00a0 for moving out.\u00a0 A rodent — a mouse or rat \u2013- crawling in your bed is serious.\u00a0 Rodents should stay in the kitchen, where they belong.<\/p>\n —<\/p>\n SIDE B<\/strong><\/big><\/span><\/p>\n This will take your mind off rats.<\/em><\/p>\n MURKY<\/big><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em>A <\/strong><\/span>Yiddishe Cup <\/strong>musician<\/span><\/span> sent this pic from a gig to his friends. (My sidemen are always taking pictures.)<\/p>\n The pic was murky and scary. The musician captioned the photo: \u201cWildest gig ever. Upside-down acrobat pouring champagne for the guests.\u201d<\/p>\n Another musician \u2013<\/strong><\/span> not at the gig \u2013 wrote back: \u201cWild Gig? What did I miss!”<\/p>\n The absent musician missed the upside-down acrobat. Compared to a bar mitzvah, it was<\/em> a wild gig.<\/p>\n The event was a fundraiser for a community college.<\/p>\n Not salacious enough for you. Right.<\/p>\n —-<\/span><\/p>\n Yiddishe Cup plays 6:15-7:45 p.m Mon., April 15, at Landerhaven for Cleveland’s community-wide Yom Ha’atzmaut celebration.\u00a0 Free.\u00a0 David Broza is on at 8 p.m.<\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/sora-sol-LCC-gig.-aerliist-with-aaron-bonk-juggler-10_2_10-300x244.jpg\" "\\"sora")
<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Alan_bert_-and-tamar-gray-by-ralph-solonitz-2013-300x250.jpg\" "\\"Alan_bert_")