\nWhen<\/strong><\/span> a groom shops for a band, he doesn\u2019t care what he gets. He is usually on assignment from the bride. I\u2019ve rarely heard a groom say, \u201cYiddishe Cup is wonderful!\u201d It\u2019s more like \u201cWhat\u2019s your minimum — minimum hours and minimum rate?\u201d<\/p>\n
I gave him a fair price and we made a deal.\u00a0 Bye.<\/p>\n A friend<\/strong><\/span> told me to act more alive on the phone. She coached me: \u201cSay, \u2018Hel-LOH<\/em>, this is Bert STRAT<\/em>–tin<\/em>!\u2019’\u00a0 I did it that for one day.<\/p>\n If a groom likes the price,\u00a0beautiful. But he might call the next day and say, \u201cMan, my fianc\u00e9e is just totally unwavering!\u00a0 She wants this horrible other band now. If it were up to me, I\u2019d have you. Change of plans, sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo problem,\u201d I say. \u201cMarriage is full of compromises.\u00a0 Get used to it.\u201d<\/p>\n Old bandleader advice.<\/p>\n 2.<\/strong><\/span> Brides — at least some of them — don\u2019t want the standard wedding mill, aka Landerhaven party center, by the freeway in Mayfield Heights.<\/p>\n On a typical Saturday night at Landerhaven, the place is hopping with four or five parties: there is background jazz in the Michelle Room; in the East Ballroom, an Asian Indian DJ; in the Lander Room, Yiddishe Cup. During breaks, I hop from one party room to another, talking to musicians and sightseeing. At a Sikh wedding, the groom rides through the parking lot on a white horse to meet the bride.<\/p>\n Landerhaven\u2019s<\/strong><\/span> food is good, and the help is attentive, but Landerhaven is very faux Fontainebleau — so many mirrors and fountains.\u00a0 Brides often want less.<\/p>\n Yiddishe Cup played a gig where the bride married an American Indian by a creek. It rained the whole time.\u00a0 That wedding moved into a lodge, which held, at most, 50 people.\u00a0 We could barely find room to toot our horns. At Landerhaven, you\u2019re not going to have problems like that. Landerhaven is well-run.\u00a0 No surprises at Landerhaven, except maybe the guy on the white horse.<\/p>\n Another option: rent a tent.\u00a0 Some Jews love to worry and the tent is perfect for that.\u00a0 At one tent gig, in Dayton, Ohio,\u00a0 the caterers used 30-gallon wastebaskets to catch the rain pouring in.<\/p>\n Yiddishe Cup's Steve Ostrow, Hunting Valley, Ohio, 2010. No rain.<\/p><\/div>\n 3. <\/strong><\/span> Here\u2019s how it went down, anthropologically speaking:<\/p>\n a) In the Midwest, the band often works Ohio State and Michigan into the repertoire.\u00a0 The anthro prof\u2019s mother was a Michigan grad, and the groom\u2019s dad was from Ohio State.\u00a0 We played \u201cHang on Sloopy\u201d for Ohio State and \u201cHail to the Victors\u201d for Michigan.<\/p>\n b) \u00a0Yiddishe<\/strong><\/span> Cup\u2019s bassist sang \u201cDu, Du Liegst Mir In Herzen.\u201d\u00a0 This bombed.\u00a0 The German guests — real Germans from Germany — didn\u2019t like it. \u00a0Apparently, Germans don\u2019t show much outward pride in their folk culture.\u00a0 And at a Jewish wedding, who can blame them. (Yiddishe Cup has played \u201cAlouette\u201d for French Canadians and \u201cGuantanamera\u201d for Hispanics, and they like hearing from us.) The Germans were no funt.<\/p>\n c)\u00a0 When Yiddishe Cup had a wedding guest sing with us, I said, \u201cAttention, anthropologists, please welcome one of the stars of Jewish pop.\u00a0 He has appeared all over the world . . . Yehuda Cik<\/a>!\u201d\u00a0 Yehuda is a former neo-Hasidic Ortho pop star.\u00a0\u00a0 Yehuda sang the last verse of L\u2019Cha Dodi, the Sabbath welcoming prayer.\u00a0 Big hit.<\/p>\n 4. <\/strong><\/span> Years later I run into the moms of the brides.\u00a0 The moms tells me the \u201ckids\u201d are now divorced — the starry-eyed kids.<\/p>\n I run into an old groom. He says, \u201cIsabel and Isaac, this is Mr. Stratton.\u00a0 He played Mommy and Daddy\u2019s wedding.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Was the groom starry-eyed at his wedding?\u00a0 Give me a break.\u00a0 I can’t remember.\u00a0 I play a lot of weddings.<\/p>\n The groom<\/strong><\/span> is still married after 12 years. He says his daughter\u2019s bat mitzvah is coming up. “She\u2019s a popular kid,” he says.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s bad. Popular kids usually want DJs,\u201d\u00a0 I say.<\/p>\n —<\/span><\/p>\n Two add-ons . . .<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Dave Brubeck vid![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/home\/yiddis6\/public_html\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/wedding-bands-2.jpg\" "\\"wedding")
<\/a>One groom said to me, \u201cLet\u2019s cut to the chase.\u00a0 What\u2019s your price?\u201d<\/p>\n
\nWhen<\/strong><\/span> a bride asks about cool wedding venues, I mention Windows on the River in The Flats, the Cuyahoga National Park (Bath, Ohio), the Shaker Country Club and Manakiki club.<\/p>\n
\nYiddishe Cup<\/strong><\/span> played a wedding for an anthropology professor and a German professor.<\/p>\n
\nSometimes<\/strong><\/span> the bride and groom are starry-eyed; sometimes, not.<\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n