{"id":10179,"date":"2012-06-13T08:00:39","date_gmt":"2012-06-13T12:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/?p=10179"},"modified":"2012-06-12T16:15:19","modified_gmt":"2012-06-12T20:15:19","slug":"she-couldn%e2%80%99t-change-a-light-bulb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/2012\/06\/13\/she-couldn%e2%80%99t-change-a-light-bulb\/","title":{"rendered":"SHE COULDN\u2019T CHANGE
A LIGHT BULB"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I had<\/strong><\/span> a custodian who couldn\u2019t change a light bulb.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know how far to screw the bulb in. She was from Russia and liked to \u201cdress\u201d — put on sharp clothes and wear heavy makeup.<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t hired her. I had hired her husband, but her husband skipped (went to Philadelphia) and I didn\u2019t want to fire her, because she had two young boys.<\/p>\n

She improved just slightly.\u00a0 She learned how to apply porcelain touch-up paint to chipped bathtubs.\u00a0 Like doing her nails.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had<\/strong><\/span> worse employees.\u00a0 I had a custodian who showed too much butt cleft when he waxed floors, alienating some of the tenants. I had a custodian who drove too often to Detroit.\u00a0 This was before cell phones.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t reach him.<\/p>\n

I had a custodian from the Hough neighborhood who was snooty.\u00a0 Her family had boarded Nap Lajoie, the Hall of Fame baseball player, when Hough was a fancy neighborhood.\u00a0 The custodian said to me, \u201cWe had the elite in my neighborhood.\u00a0 No mongrels, like from P.A.\u201d\u00a0 Her husband was from P.A.<\/p>\n

I had a building manager who rarely cleaned. A tenant taped a note in the hallway: \u201cThis building is a mess.\u201d Other tenants added to the note: \u201cVacuum the halls\u201d . . . \u201cTake the tree down, Christmas is over!\u201d . . . \u201cTrim the shrubs.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had<\/strong><\/span> a custodian whose vacuum sweeper was always outside her door but she never vacuumed.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Hoover don't move her<\/p><\/div>\n

I had a custodian who threatened to kill me.\u00a0 He was dating a black transvestite prostitute from apartment 200. I didn\u2019t like him fraternizing with tenants. \u00a0\u00a0He said he would hunt me down.\u00a0 Luckily, he didn\u2019t know his way around the East Side, where I live. The East Side has curved streets.<\/p>\n

I had a custodian who asked for loans regularly because her husband took all her money, she said. \u00a0I liked the husband.\u00a0 He went to the racetrack a lot, but he was a hard worker and had a good day job.<\/p>\n

I had<\/strong><\/span> a building manager whose kids were thieves. I once asked where her son was, and the manager said, \u201cHe stepped out to shop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMarion,\u201d she said.\u00a0\u00a0 The Marion (Ohio) Correctional Institution.<\/p>\n

He came<\/strong><\/span> back from Marion and broke into an apartment.<\/p>\n

Bad.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Footnote:
\nFor the record, I’ve had plenty good managers.
\n<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had a custodian who couldn\u2019t change a light bulb.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know how far to screw the bulb in. She was from Russia and liked to \u201cdress\u201d — put on sharp clothes and wear heavy makeup. I hadn\u2019t hired her. I had hired her husband, but her husband skipped (went to Philadelphia) and I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-landlord-biz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10179"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10276,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10179\/revisions\/10276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yiddishecup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}